The season of football has arrived and, ladies, I’m sure you are cringing at the thought of stats, running backs, and non stop ESPN. Don’t look at it as a bad thing but a way to spend more time with your man. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married there are a few very important things you need to remember this football season.
1. Don’t Fight It
Doing things like hiding the remote, “accidentally” breaking the DVR, or purposely scheduling plans for when you know his favorite team is playing will backfire. Not only will he be frustrated that he is missing out, but he will start to resent you and watch even more football.
2. You Never Have To Worry Where Your Man Is
Look on the bright side. You will never have to wonder where your man is or what your plans are on the weekends. If you are just beginning to date each other, you will be spared the anxiety that comes with hoping he is not going out with another woman on Saturday or why he doesn’t call your back on Monday. He’s actually been in his living room since seven o’ clock in the morning and he’s not moving from the couch.
3. If You See Your Man Upset, PLEASE Do Not Say Something Along The Lines Of “It’s Just A Game” Or “It’s Okay, Honey.”
While the response to both of those statements are a huge “No, it’s not,” all you’ll really get is a silent response, as we get even angrier from your comment. So if you see we’re upset because of a play or just the game in general, just walk away. The situation at this point can only go down from here on. For all of the “house divided” couples I just don’t see how you do it.
4. The Size Of The Screen Is VERY Important,
Basically the bigger the game the bigger the screen needs to be. Especially when the National Championship or Super Bowl is on. So when your man goes out to buy that new 70″ TV, rejoice, as you’ll be watching Real House Wives on it when football season is over. By the way the National Championship and Super bowl are events all their own and should be deemed a national holidays in itself.
5. Keep Yourself Busy
If watching sports all day is your idea of a personal hell, call some fellow football widows and go out to lunch, go shopping, or do whatever makes you feel good. Make plans with your mom, as it’s likely she is a football widow too, and let the guys have the house to themselves.
6. The Snacks That Are Served
This step is key…FOOD and BEER. Cook…yes, cook! Make the perfect game watching finger foods and if you really want to get in good with your man go to the store and get him his favorite craft brew 6 pack. Trust me this will get you major points. When he’s ready to go you take him to the sofa and tell him you just want to watch the game with him and would like for him to explain it to you. He won’t turn you down and will even be pleasantly surprised.
7. If You Want Something, The Best Time To Ask is AFTER A Nice Victory From His Favorite Team
We all know girls love those bags that cost $500 because there’s a C, LV, or whatever letter logo on it. Well, if you see that your man’s team just won and are going to National Championship or Super Bowl, your best bet is to sneak in the suggestion during that time. Especially if it was an overtime game, he’ll go pick up that overly priced bag that night!
8. Don’t EVER Say The Words “You love your stupid football game more than me.”
Secretly, we probably do but forbid we ever even act like we’re thinking about it. We don’t go into your closet and start throwing around your shoes while you’re looking at them, saying you love shoes more than us. So whatever problem, activity, and drama you have with me during the game, PLEASE don’t ruin the day by saying those words. Just like we will never understand why you pay hundreds to thousands of dollars on a bag that holds things just as well as the $20 purse, you will never understand the love of the game.
9. Don’t Plan Get Togethers During A Game. Unless It Is Centered On The Game.
We all know women love to plan stuff. Feel free to plan all during the week but come Saturday and Sunday, those are events that have been on our calenders for years. Do not attempt to drag your man to a baby shower, mall, or any other activity where a man will be forced to just stand there and look helpless on a game day!
10. If You Can’t Beat Em Join Em
I’m a firm believer that most women don’t like football because they don’t understand it. It’s really quite an amazing game. The battle that goes on in the trenches, running backs avoiding tackles, the cunning in which a receiver makes a catch going out-of-bounds and somehow manages to get two feet in bounds while running at top speed. It’s the perfect blend of force and finesse. So sit down and watch a game with your man sometime. Who knows? It might be the best decision you ever made.
Pro tip: Don’t ever try to understand why men are obsessed with football. It’s a complete waste of time
This football season keep these tips in mind. Remember football is awesome, learn the game, cheer for your team, and support your man!
Happy Football Season and Roll Tide!
“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.” – Bill Shankly