How To Support Your Man During Football Season

 

Football Season

The season of football has arrived and, ladies, I’m sure you are cringing at the thought of stats, running backs, and non stop ESPN. Don’t look at it as a bad thing but a way to spend more time with your man. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or married there are a few very important things you need to remember this football season.

1. Don’t Fight It

Doing things like hiding the remote, “accidentally” breaking the DVR, or purposely scheduling plans for when you know his favorite team is playing will backfire. Not only will he be frustrated that he is missing out, but he will start to resent you and watch even more football.

2. You Never Have To Worry Where Your Man Is

Look on the bright side. You will never have to wonder where your man is or what your plans are on the weekends.  If you are just beginning to date each other, you will be spared the anxiety that comes with hoping he is not going out with another woman on Saturday or why he doesn’t call your back on Monday. He’s actually been in his living room since seven o’ clock in the morning and he’s not moving from the couch.

3. If You See Your Man Upset, PLEASE Do Not Say Something Along The Lines Of “It’s Just A Game” Or “It’s Okay, Honey.”

While the response to both of those statements are a huge “No, it’s not,” all you’ll really get is a silent response, as we get even angrier from your comment. So if you see we’re upset because of a play or just the game in general, just walk away.  The situation at this point can only go down from here on. For all of the “house divided” couples I just don’t see how you do it.

4. The Size Of The Screen Is VERY Important,

Basically the bigger the game the bigger the screen needs to be. Especially when the National Championship or Super Bowl is on. So when your man goes out to buy that new 70″ TV, rejoice, as you’ll be watching Real House Wives on it when football season is over. By the way the National Championship and Super bowl are events all their own and should be deemed a national holidays in itself.

5. Keep Yourself Busy

If watching sports all day is your idea of a personal hell, call some fellow football widows and go out to lunch, go shopping, or do whatever makes you feel good. Make plans with your mom, as it’s likely she is a football widow too, and let the guys have the house to themselves.

6. The Snacks That Are Served

This step is key…FOOD and BEER. Cook…yes, cook! Make the perfect game watching finger foods and if you really want to get in good with your man go to the store and get him his favorite craft brew 6 pack. Trust me this will get you major points. When he’s ready to go you take him to the sofa and tell him you just want to watch the game with him and would like for him to explain it to you. He won’t turn you down and will even be pleasantly surprised.

7. If You Want Something, The Best Time To Ask is AFTER A Nice Victory From His Favorite Team

We all know girls love those bags that cost $500 because there’s a C, LV, or whatever letter logo on it. Well, if you see that your man’s team just won and are going to National Championship or Super Bowl, your best bet is to sneak in the suggestion during that time. Especially if it was an overtime game, he’ll go pick up that overly priced bag that night!

8. Don’t EVER Say The Words “You love your stupid football game more than me.”

Secretly, we probably do but forbid we ever even act like we’re thinking about it. We don’t go into your closet and start throwing around your shoes while you’re looking at them, saying you love shoes more than us. So whatever problem, activity, and drama you have with me during the game, PLEASE don’t ruin the day by saying those words. Just like we will never understand why you pay hundreds to thousands of dollars on a bag that holds things just as well as the $20 purse, you will never understand the love of the game.

9. Don’t Plan Get Togethers During A Game. Unless It Is Centered On The Game.

We all know women love to plan stuff. Feel free to plan all during the week but come Saturday and Sunday, those are events that have been on our calenders for years. Do not attempt to drag your man to a baby shower, mall, or any other activity where a man will be forced to just stand there and look helpless on a game day!

10. If You Can’t Beat Em Join Em

I’m a firm believer that most women don’t like football because they don’t understand it. It’s really quite an amazing game. The battle that goes on in the trenches, running backs avoiding tackles, the cunning in which a receiver makes a catch going out-of-bounds and somehow manages to get two feet in bounds while running at top speed. It’s the perfect blend of force and finesse. So sit down and watch a game with your man sometime. Who knows? It might be the best decision you ever made.

Pro tip: Don’t ever try to understand why men are obsessed with football. It’s a complete waste of time

This football season keep these tips in mind. Remember football is awesome, learn the game, cheer for your team, and support your man!

Happy Football Season and Roll Tide!

“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.” – Bill Shankly

West Virginia vs Alabama: All Your Couches Belong To Us

Chick Fil A Kickoff

West Virginia fans Brace yourselves! We are 1 day away from Alabama football. That means in less than 24 hours Bama will be steam rolling your beloved Mountaineers and starting the road to 16. When you walk into the Georgia Dome mentally prepare yourself as you’re coming into the slaughter house. You should hit up the thrift stores as well cause you’re gonna need some new couches after Bama burns yours up.

The funny thing is West Virginia fans seem to think that actually have a legitimate chance to beat Alabama, and rightfully so as they had a 4-8 record last year in the intimidating Big 12 conference. As the West Virginia blog, The Smoking Musket, put it: Alabama is dead! The best part of Alabama being dead is of the 16 man Smoking Musket staff only 1 person picked the Mountaineers to beat Bama. Glad you’re so confident after your bold prediction. We shall see how “dead” Bama is when Saban and the Lane Train stream roll their way through your terrible Big 12 defense and laugh as we  burn your couches to mere ashes. Quit it Mountaineers, you’re making us laugh.

We all know this isn’t going to be much of a game. The numbers tell us that not only does Alabama have the edge in every category, they completely outclass West Virginia across the board. Come tomorrow afternoon the world will see your pitiful excuse of a football team.

Learn your opponent – West Virginia: You can’t sum up West Virginia fans in one word but I’ll try with a few. Crazy, like to burn couches, hillbillies, terrible at football, just to name a few. Mountaineers why are you’re fans pure crazy? I mean we thought LSU fans were bad but wow you hillbillies set the crazy bar high. Burning couches, rioting in the streets, setting everything you can find on fire. Come on now just because you have a terrible football team don’t mean you need to act all crazy.

West Virgina Burning Couch

History of West Virginia football: Even though Alabama and West Virginia have never played each other, West Virginia has been playing football since 1891 and in 121 seasons has won 11 games just four times. On a side note to the game, 2014 will be the 150th anniversary of General William “The original Couch Burner” Sherman’s, burning of Atlanta. Is this a coincidence? hmmmm…… or probably just a sign Bama is going to Burn the city Georgia Dome down when it torches West Virginia on Saturday.

West Virgina Team 2014: The West Virginia Mountaineers return seven starters on each side of the ball. Their offense, which was 80th in the country in points scored, will be led by quarterback Clint Trickett, who passed for 1,600 yards and seven touchdowns before suffering a shoulder injury. The Mountaineers strength this season will be their running game which is led by Wendell Smallwood and Rushel Shell. Defensively, the Mountaineers have nowhere to go but up after finishing 100th in points allowed. To sum it up you’re going to lose.

Why Alabama is going to destory West Virginia:

SEC….. we rule the South World. Need I say more.

The Lane Train. Prepare to watch the scoreboard light up

Alabama owns the dome! Bama is 5-1 at the dome under Saban

Amari Cooper, TJ Yeldon, Derrick Henry, Landon Collins, and the list goes on

Prediction: Bama 45 West Virginia 13

West Virginia be real, Pat White, Tavon Austin, and Bruce Irvin aren’t walking through that door. So don’t expect to have a happy ending come Saturday night. I say this to warn you of the havoc that is about to be wreaked!

I’d love to hear your predictions and/or excuses about the game. If you care to put in your input leave me a comment.

“It’s not bragging if you can back it up.” – Muhammad Ali

37 Days Until Alabama Football

College football is upon us friends.  It’s officially only 37 more days until Alabama football. Known to every Bama fan as 37 more days until the Tide starts its quest of becoming 2014 national champions.

Here’s just a few reasons why Bama is going to win the National Championship and dominate your team this football season. Sit back, enjoy, and see what’s in store for Bama football this year.

Shaun Alexander

Disclaimer: This post may be offensive if you’re not part of the Bama family or represent a conference other than the SEC.  This article was written in crimson colored glasses and we believe all statements to be true.  We expect you to believe the same after your dreams are crushed when your favorite team plays the Crimson Tide.  If you can’t accept the fact that Alabama will be National Champions at seasons end look away now.   Due to the graphic nature of the soon to be Alabama domination viewer discretion is advised.  You’ve been warned. Roll Tide! 

Nick Saban, the man, the idol, the legend. Not even 100 million dollars could steal him away.  He’s back to win another ship and return the title to it’s rightful owners.

Nick Saban To Texas

Running Back U – TJ Yeldon, Derrick  Henry, Kenyan Drake, Altee Tenpenny, and the list goes on.  Need I say more, our second and third string backs are going to get more yards than your starter.

Alabama Runningbacks

Motivation.  The 2013 season is over and we’re starting this year with a chip on our shoulder.  If there’s one thing you don’t want it’s an even more motivated Alabama team.  Oklahoma enjoy the defeat of a SEC team cause it will never happen again and Auburn come November 29th may Nick Saban have mercy on your soul.

Alabama Football Motivation

Your team is Georgia and you have ol Mark Richt as your coach. Half your team will be gone due to felonies by August which is the norm.  The Georgia Football Team Motto “Where Misdemeanors and Felonies Happen”.

Mark Richt Mad

All your 5 starz belongs to us. Does your weak team from whatever conference even have any 5 stars on it? Pretty much if you see a 5 star recruit you can bet he’s playing for the good guys.

Alabama Football 5 Stars

Lane Kiffin or known to Bama fans as the Lane Train.  You may love him, you may hate him, but you’re probably going to hate him after you see what Bama’s offense does to your excuse of a defense.  Love him or hate him the Lane Train is here to stay.  You can find him on the nearest field torching your defense. Lane Train goes choo choo!

Lane Kiffin Train

LSU your argument is invalid.  Les Miles eats grass and has to replace its starting QB, all its starting wide receivers, its starting running back, and four starters on defense.  Prediction: Corndog sales plummit across Louisana and Saban makes it 4 in a row against the grass muncher.

Les Miles Eats Grass

We live to dominate the B1G 10, Big 12, ACC, Pac 12, or any other conference that doesn’t measure up to the SEC.  Now that the playoff has started we look to continue the trend.  Alabama is 30-4 against non-conference opponents since Saban took over the Bama train in 2007.

College Football Playoff

See we are Alabama and you’re not.  We don’t back down, we just simply win and crush opponents dreams.  It’s in our DNA.  Break it down DJ Khaled.

 

If you think you’re team has a legitimate shot of taking down the Tide this year let me know in the comments below but I can already tell you the answer to that.  To all my Bama fans Roll Tide and to the haters, may Nick Saban have mercy on you.

“If wanting to win is a fault, as some of my critics seem to insist, then I plead guilty. I like to win. I know no other way. It’s in my blood.” – Paul “Bear” Bryant

 

Tennessee Hate Week: They Low Down, They Dirty, They Some Snitches.

The Third Saturday in October is among us and everyone from the South knows what that means, the time for Alabama to dominate Tennessee is near. This year Alabama is looking to get it’s 7th win in a row against our arch rival Tennessee. The past 6 years have went a little something like this:

Kenny Bell

Kenny is out to get 7 in a row!

2007 – Alabama 41   Tennessee 17   
2008 – Alabama 29   Tennessee 9     
2009 – Alabama 12   Tennessee 10   
2010 – Alabama 41   Tennessee 10   
2011 – Alabama 37   Tennessee 6     
2012 – Alabama 44   Tennessee 13   

Before I begin tell you about #TennesseeHateWeek and why Alabama will dominate for a 7th straight year, I must first tell you the history of how the 3rd Saturday in October came to be.

The Rivalry

The rivalry was once known by its date alone, “The Third Saturday in October.” It was the first game that could be considered a true rivalry for Alabama. Dating back 112 years, it’s one of college football’s oldest series. It’s spawned great quotes, like this one by the man who was the “Bear” Bryant of Tennessee: “You never know what a football player is made of until he plays against Alabama.” – Former Tennessee Coach Bob Neyland. The series has seen stretches where wins went back and forth, stretches that went into long streaks by one and then by the other. Few people realize that Alabama has played Tennessee more than any other team in their history. Nineteen more times than Auburn, 20 more than LSU, and 37 times more than Ole Miss.

The Tide and Volunteers first met on the gridiron in Birmingham way back in 1901, fighting to a 6-6 tie before a controversial call sparked a riot (I wasn’t there, but I’m pretty sure Tennessee started it), ending the game and starting a now-century old grudge. Even though there weren’t any more riots to speak of in the ensuing decades, the level of bad blood present after that first game wasn’t terribly diminished at any of the other meetings.

It was the first “must win” game for Alabama, and it went the same way for Tennessee. The hate for each other fueled the players will to win. You want to know how bad the players back then wanted to win? Check out this quote, “His ear had a real nasty cut, and it was dangling from his head bleeding badly. He grabbed his own ear and tried to yank it from his head. His teammates stopped him, and the managers bandaged him. Man was that guy a tough one. He wanted to tear off his own ear so he could keep playing.” Tennessee lineman Bull Bayer talking about his counterpart, Bully Van de Graaff in the 1913 game. This is the hate that has fueled the series over the years.

Bear Bryant

Another in-game incident included Bear Bryant’s second outing. He was ejected for allegedly sucker-punching Tennessee running back Phil Dickens, breaking his nose. As it later turned out, the punch came from another Alabama player (Bear was 15 yards away from the incident), yet Bryant never let on that he was not involved in the incident.

Bryant’s legend as a player harked back to the 1935 contest against the Volunteers when he played one of the best games of his career despite having a fractured shin bone. Skeptical sportswriters were shown the X-rays when they doubted he’d played on a broken leg and Bryant later said “it was one little bone.” There’s no way Bryant was coming out against Tennessee.

After the game and a 34-3 beat down of the Vols in 1961, Alabama’s longtime trainer Jim Goostree handed out victory cigars to all the players and coaches in the locker room beginning a hallowed Crimson Tide tradition. Both teams continued the tradition for some time, though kept it secret due to NCAA rules concerning extra benefits and tobacco products. Alabama “publicly” restarted the tradition in 2005, though as a result, self-reported an NCAA violation. Every year since 2005, the winning team (Alabama) knowingly violates the NCAA rule and reports the violation in honor of tradition! As Cyrus Kouandijo said with his one word answer to the feeling of smoking that locker room cigar after beating the Vols, “Righteous,” Kouandjio said. “The feel of victory, the feel of accomplishment and you have a cigar to prove it. It’s a good feeling.”

Victory Cigarbilde

 

 

 

 

From the beginning to now not much has changed, the hate is still as present as it was back in 1901. As the players get ready to take the field on Saturday there’s only one thing on both teams mind and that’s dominate the opponent at all cost. The players and fans live for this game and as most people ask, don’t you hate Auburn more than Tennessee? It’s a simple reply really. Alabama does not hate Auburn we simply pity them, but Tennessee on the other hand is the one team every Alabama fan can say they hate. It’s the nasty “puke inside a pumpkin” orange you see everywhere, hearing Rocky Top played 6000 times per game, and it’s wanting them to lose every game from here to the next century. There are many teams we dislike but there is only one team we purely hate and that is team is Tennessee.

Evidence of the hate:

Roger Schultz, Alabama player from 86-90 said, “I can’t stand Tennessee, because for many years Tennessee was our biggest rival. I just always wanted to beat Tennessee more, and when I played, we never lost to Tennessee. Schultz also said, “back then, I said that, we ought to pay property tax on Neyland Stadium because we own it”.

Through the 70’s Bama dominated Tennessee winning 11 straight before Tennessee. In 1986 Alabama beat Tennessee 56-28 by running the same play 26 times. Needless to say this didn’t help win over any Tennessee fans it only made the hate boil.

Beating Tennessee has always meant something to me, even from a young age. I can remember when I was a kid my grandparents taking me to a game at Legion Field and Tennessee beat us. There was a woman who was a Tennessee fan sitting in front of us and she sang Rocky Top the entire game. Needless to say from that point forward I wanted to beat Tennessee by 100 every time we played. I now leave you with one of the best videos on the internet.

So sit back and relax in a little more than 24 hours Tennessee is going to roll up in the Heart of Dixie and get curb stomped for a 7th straight time! To all my Bama fans Roll Tide and to Tennessee, may Nick Saban have mercy on you.

Until next time, Roll Tide!

Who Needs The BCS When You Have The Scissom Ranking System

It seems that everyone has an opinion about the BCS. Either you love it or you hate it. Either way most can agree that it has it’s flaws and ultimately that’s why the playoff system will go into effect next year. My friend Jeff got fed up with the BCS a few years ago and decided to make his own ranking system, the Scissom Ranking System.

Scissom Ranking System

The Scissom Ranking System Background

The Scissom Ranking System was originally derived to create a more evenly balanced computer football ranking system that also took into account margin of victory, but in a way that running up the score on an inferior opponent would not provide an unfair boost in rankings. The system is generally not very accurate until week 7 or 8, much like the BCS. This is due to the fact that each season is started fresh with all teams starting at an even ranking.

System Information

The system contains all Division I teams. This includes all FBS and FCS teams. All DII and DIII teams are grouped into one “team” called DIII.

This system contains data from all seasons since the 2003-2004 season. First created in 2008 the Scissom Ranking System was run retroactively back to 2003-2004 season.

Every team starts the season with the same rank. Each team is assigned a ranking value of 120 points (derived from a 12 game regular season, 10 points per game). As teams play each other that original 120 point value is modified based on results. For example Alabama beats Virginia Tech by 25 points. Alabama’s point value increases from 120 to 155. Virginia Tech’s point value decreases the same amount from 120 to 85. These new values are used to calculate the results of the next weeks game.

Logic behind the system

Raw Point Values – Formula: New Points = (Loser’s Point value/Winner’s Point value) * 10 + (Loser’s Point value/Winner’s Point value) * Margin of Victory. The raw point values each week are calculated based on the ratio of the Losing Team’s value divided by the Winning Teams value. This makes sure that a great team that destroys a weak team doesn’t get the same boost as a great team destroying a great team.

Strength of Schedule – Strength of schedule is just the average point value of your opponents through your current schedule. Future games do not calculate into this SOS. For this reason, playing low quality teams will drastically decrease you SOS.

Ranking – This is the part that has to be kept private. I use a formula that I’ve developed to calculate a Ranking Value. This Ranking Value is what is used to rank the teams (higher ranking value is a better team). The values that are used in this formula are Raw Point Value of the team, Strength of Schedule, and Wins/Losses.

Scoring Potential – Each team is given a value that rates their ability to score points. This is the teams overall ability to score points on Offense, Defense or Special Teams. It is calculated by taking the total points scored in games to this point and dividing it by 1000 – the teams current SOS. Points Scored/(1000 – strength)

Potential to Prevent Scoring – Each team is given a value that rates their potential to prevent the opponent from scoring. It is calculated by taking the total points against to this point and dividing it by 1000 – the teams current SOS, then subtracting that total from 1. 1 – (Points Allowed/(1000 – strength))

BCS and Scissom Ranking Systems

The initial standings for the BCS’s 16th and final season were released last night. I don’t think there was many suprises except maybe the fact Florida State jumped Oregon for the #2 spot. The standings for the Scissom Ranking System have been updated as well. Here’s the top 5 teams for week 8 in the Scissom Ranking System. Click HERE or the picture for the full top 25.

There’s a quick overview of the Scissom Ranking System. You can check out the links below to access the system or contact Jeff.

Website:                    http://ranking.scissom.com/

Twitter:                      https://twitter.com/ScissomRanking

Facebook Page:       https://www.facebook.com/ScissomRankingSystem

We are Alabama. We are the Tide. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.

The day every Bama fan has been waiting for is among us! September 14th, the day Nick Saban and the Tide roll into College Station and take out some Old Testament vengeance upon Johnny Manziel and his overrated football team! It is here; get yourself ready because the Tide is coming in and going to take your dreams and wash them out to sea. Before I go into how the Tide is going to get their revenge, I must first take you to somewhere you don’t want to go that got us to this point.

AJ McCarron

Look away if you’re a Bama fan due to graphic content

It was November 10th, 2012, that fateful day that makes every Bama fan cringe to this day. I remember it all too well. It was a fall day with a nice breeze, crimson and houndstooth as far as the eye could see, and I was in the lovely City of Champions, simply known as Tuscaloosa to some. Around 2:30 pm the ball was kicked off the tee and the rest is too painful to share. Long story short, I walked out of Bryant Denny that day feeling as though Texas A&M had personally taken something from me.  That’s a feeling I did not forget, and neither has the Tide fearlessly led by Nick Saban.

Now about this week.  This is the week that matters.  This is the week that makes every Texas A&M fan quiver uncontrollably knowing who is coming and what is about to happen to them. First off, Alabama just had a bye week, which may not mean much to the average football coach like Kevin Sumlin, but to Nick Saban a bye week is like someone telling him he can’t have an oatmeal cream pie when he’s craving one. And I’ll tell you, Nick Saban always has his oatmeal pie.  Last year Texas A&M took it and guess what?  Nick Saban is about to roll up into College Station, take back that savory oatmeal pie you stole, and make you watch him as he devours his delicious snack. I say this not to scare you but to prepare you for what is soon to come.

Nick Saban

The face that could devour an oatmeal pie or in this case an Aggie.

So now all you rightly-worried A&M fans, ask yourself “Can Johnny Football pull off the miracle again?” Ask yourself “Has Nick Saban ever lost 2 years in a row to the same team?”  I hate to break it to you, but statistically, y’all have a better chance of being executed by Rick Perry than winning this game.  Nick Saban has a 14-2 record as an SEC coach in rematch games against opponents he lost to the previous season. In those 14 initial defeats, Saban lost by an average of 14.4 points; however, in those 16 rematches the next year, he won by an average of 14.7 points. So yes, you should worry and worry you will.

Come on, y’all.  We’re talking about Nick Saban here — the football genius that beats most teams before they even take the field.  He practically invents ways to make teams quit.  So before all you Texas A&M fans start with your “Johhny Football is sooo good OMG” comments, sit and listen because you are about to learn what getting taken to the woodshed is all about.  And just so we’re clear, the woodshed looks a little like this: Nick Saban is going to hunt you down, haunt you in your sleep, and destroy your dreams.  He knows what you’re going to do before you do it and he is watching you even this very moment.  He’s like the Santa Clause of the Football world.  You should know Nick Saban hasn’t slept one single day since that loss 306 days ago.  What does Nick Saban think about when he gets out of the shower every morning? What does he think about while he’s eating his Cocoa Puffs and Little Debbies?  And what does Nick Saban think about while he’s on the pot?  If you guessed annihilating and exposing an overrated Texas A&M team you would be right!  Saban will have his vengeance.  Do not take this lightly.  Consider yourself warned and for all of you drinking on that Haterade, no worries.  You will be silenced.

Johnny Football

The sack city committee will be out in full force! Johnny can we have your autograph?

Now we can go over what you can expect to see at the game:

– Nick Saban stealing back his oatmeal pie
– Bama having actual girl cheerleaders unlike A&M’s “yell crew” composed of guys
– Texas A&M fans crying uncontrollably (a little like Tebow a few years back…)
– Johnny Football rushes < 100 yards
– Johnny Football gets a personal foul (or three)
– Johnny Football asks for AJ McCarron’s autograph after the game
– Total annihilation of Texas A&M and their excuse of a football program
With all that said my final score prediction is: Alabama 38 Texas A&M 17

Perfection is an expectation at Alabama, so we’re confident, with good reason. Three National Championship wins in four years allows you to add some extra swagger to your step. The road to 16 goes through college station. Sit back and enjoy.

I’d love to hear your predictions and/or excuses about the game. If you care to put in your input leave me a comment at the end of the post.

“We are Alabama. We are the Tide. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.”

Your Mascot is a Turkey and Nick Saban Thinks it’s Thanksgiving

I don’t know how many of you are from the South, especially the great state of Alabama but ever since January 7th Alabama fans have had one thing on their mind and that’s dominating Texas A&M, oh I mean Virginia Tech, you know what I mean. The funny part about that is Virginia Tech fans apparently think they are going to beat us as well. The Virginia Tech blog “The Key Play” helped popularize the Twitter hashtag “#BEATBAMA,” adding to a frenzy of like-minded fans that now all believe the team truly can pull the incredible upset on August 31st. This seems realistic, right? After all, Tech just suffered through the program’s worst season since 1992 and now faces the mammoth task of unseating the squad that’s won three of the last four national titles. Please Tech fans tell me more of how your 3 star recruits will beat us. With that being said here are a few predictions of what’s to come:

Bama-Vatech

Predictions of what’s to come:

Logan Thomas starts up the pick city committee and throw 2+ picks
Va. Tech running back core rushes < 100 yards
Haha Clint-Dix takes a pick 6 to the house
TJ Yeldon + Jalston Folwer + Derrick Henry + our 5th string backs rush > 200 yards
Va. Tech will have 3+ turnovers
Saban starts his new ritual eating an oatmeal cream pie and turkey leg after each TD
Virginia Tech fans leaving by halftime
Amari Cooper receives over > 100 yards
With all that said my final score prediction is: Alabama 45 Virginia Tech 1379990601_0e08369c5f

Now all you Va. Tech fans know Bama is going to win the game. In fact we are going to dominate you from the first snap until the last whistle. Don’t be mad, we’re saving you the embarrassment of being undefeated in your crap conference and losing to a crap level BIG 10 team in a bowl. Oh and take down your placeholder for the national championship. This is setting unrealistic expectations for your 3 star players. So get ready, the gobbler blood will flow tomorrow night!

I now leave you with a hype video to get your weekend started:

Just remember at some places they play football, at Alabama we live to DOMINATE the ACC. Oh and the BIG 10, can’t leave y’all out! Until next time. Roll Tide!

Get ready it’s time for some good ol’ southern football

For those of you who didn’t know, tomorrow marks a glorious day. What’s glorious you might ask? Well none other than the return of football. We’ve been waiting anxiously since January 7th (233 days to be exact) for the great game of football to return. To make it even more of a treat, we get 3 SEC teams playing on the same night. Gear up and get ready college football is here!

Things you need to MUST do to prepare yourself for football tomorrow night:

1. Brew, liquor, wine, sweet tea, whatever your poison is have it ready and lots of it. Trying to watch a game without liquid on the pallette is like Auburn actually winning a SEC game, it’s not gonna happen.

2. Let your friends know it’s going down. There aren’t many people who will turn down food and football, so call em up and get them over for the wondrous occasion. Just make sure you don’t invite the ones who will drink all your beer.

3. Make sure your TV/cable/satellite is good to go. If you haven’t already go ahead and convince the girlfriend/wife you need the absolute biggest TV they make. Then you can be like, look honey they have an 125 inch but I guess I can get the 70 inch as a compromise. See how much I love you. One thing to note: 60% of the time it works every time. Moving on.

4. More libations, a cooler possibly. I mean football without without ice cold refreshments really isn’t football at all. Oh and ice, ice galore, because you can never have enough ice.

5. A grill cause what’s football without some fresh meat on the grizzy. Stock up on food cause your friends will raid your kitchen quicker than an inmate picking up soap in a shower.

6. Cornhole, horse shoes, or a football are a prereq. You will need something to beat your buddies at halftime.

7. Your lucky shaker, shirt, and/or superstition. Because without it how is your team going to win.

You’re now officially ready to begin football season. You can now sit back and watch the SEC dominate like they do every year. I now leave you with tomorrows prediction and this video:

South Carolina 38   North Carolina 13                                Ole Miss 34   Vanderbilt 27

Until next time. Roll Tide!